selamat pengantin baru

i've got this one sms past few days..it said..."hai,still remember me??i go to your house just now but ibu said u r not at home...how are you??"..i keep looking at that unfamiliar number...and i asked my mum about that thingy....im so surprised when my mum said he's my ex-bf (not that 3 years r'ship bf)and he come just to give his wedding card....i feel like...ergh.....
and today he's here again...i was in the room when he's arrived....hahahhaa....i dont know why...but i felt so nervouse plus excited plus happy....it mix well and the result....i go out from my room and meet him....omg...to be honest....i cant descride by word how happy i see him after almost 5 years didn't meet.....we have some conversation....laughing...bla bla bla....then suddenly i looked at his wedding invitation card...gosh....i almost forgot...he;s getting married this saturday and i cant treat him like the way i treated him before....and to be honest....im quite dissapointed and sad...i still think of him sometimes.....and i feel like i miss him....we never declare a break ...we've lost contact coz he's back to his hometown and till then..no news from him....what makes me mad...he moved to kl but never come to my place and now he's come but with a reason....herm....im sorry...i just can't stop thinking of our past happy memories...he's such a nice guy...believe it or not....we've never argue and...that almost a year relationship is still be the best relationship....well...its okey..im happy if he's happy....more than enough....and obviously...it means that im not for him....
that thing makes me feel like...."go to hell with love"....i dont know why....i know i cant feel that way....past is always past and we never know our future...but i cant lie to myself...i feel frustrated...just god know how and what i feel rite now...thing will never be the same and i think i need a break....*sigh*