*sigh*

everything's start to change bit by bit..but im just gonna be the same me..and people were never understand and will not understand me ...perhaps i should hiding quietly down here waiting for miracle happen...but is there a miracle for me??..at least once??...im so sorry for being complicated and hard to understand but trust me...i never ever want it to happen..*big sigh*...should i blame to my past time??or should i blame to myself??for what i know...the stories of my family turn me into this type of girl and sorry that stories gonna be private and confidential.....ever...no one ever understand me well...not even my family...but just only this one person who know my true color...know who is the real helda....
chieda...u know too much about me and i hope u gonna keep it as our secret till forever...honestly im so sad when i heard when u said that u want to get married soon..coz im afraid we cant share anything together again...and ill be all alone.....but i know..i cant keep u for forever...but do u still be there whenever i need u??...i hope so...coz i love u so much...*damn!!..i feel like gonna cry now*...heheh...
okey²...done for now...whatever it is...im happy with my life no matter what happen...just back off if u sick of me ..find another girl who can cheer u up,makes u happy,listen to what u said and do whatever u wish for...sorry...im not that kind of person coz im tired follow people's order but then i've never be appreciated..just wasting my fucking time...-im out-