al-fatihah

6.40 p.m,9th march 05- this day is the most unforgetable day ever in my life...its started with....today...fara has missed her work...she's suppose to go to work at 10...but she has woke up at 11.30... and fara planned to go to "this" place...so we waited for diera to go with us...to make it short...at 6 something we reached this place..then a few minutes later ive got a phone call from helza...with uncleared voice...she said something ..but i cant hear it clearly...she say it again...and this time i feel like the end of the day...her words keep haunted me.."ABANG DAH MENINGGAL!!"....without realized it...im crying....and diera sent me back while fara has to stay there....at home...all my family members were there...and once i walked into the house..i can see..a body was lying on the bed...static....not moved at all...oh my god....i cant believe....ive lost the one and only boy in my siblings....and we were like....damn!!..its hard to explain!....its hard to explain our feeling by word....and....ive spent the whole night beside him and read yassin for him.....and i feel like cant stop kissing and hugging him..coz i know..thats gonna be my last time doing that...and tomorrow is too fast for me...8.30 a.m,7th march 05- The unwanted time has come...they had bring my lil bro to masjid and get ready to cleaned up his body before kafan...and they give us to kiss him for the last time and start to pray for him....at kubur...is the hardest time for us...its hard for us to leave him in the liang lahad alone...but ALLAH loves him more...and we just can leave him...but we're happy...coz his worst time has end...and now we know he live happily up there....the end of his life story- that evening...my mom go into the bedroom to look after him coz he's not feeling well these few days..then suddenly my mum realised that he's hard to breath...actually..its always happen to him..so my mum just give him his medicine..but its getting worst....and without wait for another minute..my mum hold him and get ready to bring him to the nearby clinic...in the lift...my mum cant feel his heart beating after he take his last breath....she's panic...and she's keep calling his name...and when they reach the clinic...the doctor give the confirmation about my lil bro situation....just a few words that makes this world upside down..."die dah takde"....i cant forgive myself....i was so regret..im not with him.....by his side....in his last day of lifeeeeee!!!!!!...and seriously.....i cant forgive myself for that......im so sorry sayang......even im not with you...but my love for u wont never ever stop till the rest of my life......and thats the promise.....i really...really...love you....and i cant stop crying every single night coz im too missing u....i really..reallyyy...reallyyyy missing u sayang.....so much.....so damn much!!!!.......for your information...my lil bro,helmy nashreeq is 16 years old now....but...he has heart problem...so he cant walk...he cant talk....he cant eat by himself...he cant do anything....even in that age..he still wearing pampers....coz his life is totally like a lil baby.....but we dont mind...we never tired taking care of him....and for us..he's like a diamond among the rocks....he's special....too special for us....and maybe that's the reason hard for us to forget about him......and abang....i just want to say...WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND MORE THAN OUR LIFE!!..YOU ARE SOMETHING FOR US....AND OUR LOVE FOR U WILL BE LONG LASTING.....HOPE TO MEET U IN THE OTHER LIFE SAYANG!!...I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH!! AND IM MISSING U ALOT.....SO MUCH!!! *better quit now coz tears is everywhere...damn!**thanx a lot for everybody who has participated...may ALLAH bless u....and special thanx to diera,fara,wan and rizal coz always be by myside when im really really down....from start till end....and to those who sent the takziah wishes with the lovely words....thank u so much.....and just one last favour from me...please send al fatihah and yassin to my lovely lil bro,helmy nashreeq....thanx a lot....*